Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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