i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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