I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
