Duck Duck Cougar?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
