do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
