the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
