It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
