Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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