you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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