I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
