I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
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The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
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I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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