I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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