all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she smelled like a LAN party
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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