Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
