More tranny stories later!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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