I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were trust falling into bushes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize