windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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