the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
