Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
