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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Genius.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.

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• (347): View more from New York

  Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing

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• (408): View more from California

  Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for

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