I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
