He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
