ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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