don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need water and some morals
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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