I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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