How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize