need another drink. this is the easiest way
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
