New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
