I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I need to align my fucking chakras
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