Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
