i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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