writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
