She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
