You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
