he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
