my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
