Barsexuality is the new black.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
