I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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