I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
