I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
