I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
