So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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