I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I would fuck him just for his dog
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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