Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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