The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
