I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
