I just threw up on my dentist
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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