i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
