Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
