I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
