Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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