meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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