afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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