Kiss
Puke
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
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Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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