i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
