ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
