I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
