he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
only you would photoshop your dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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