Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
