Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
