I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
