Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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