I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
