? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
