So drunk its hurt
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
