writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
birth control should be required to get into college
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
