P.S. I can't hear my feet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
